Week 4 - August 31st - Miracle Revealed

This is the day of enlightment and the week of our world being turned upside down. I was mentioning to Steve how strange it was that I hadn't started my cycle yet, I was cramping a lot and was wondering if it was because I had fell. My mom then says, "you should get a pregnancy test" and all I could think was, "what for?!". That had to be about the farthest thing from my mind.

I went to the pharmacy to pick up my regular meds and stared at the boxes of pregnancy tests for a few minutes. I decided to just get one thinking to myself why am I wasting my money on another one of these after all these years and how stupid I will feel when it was a waste. We were heading to my baby brother's in San Diego that week and so I thought I would just wait until we got back. But somehow, the morning of Sept. 1st, I took a deep breath and lifted up the test to find not only was it very positive but that the "you took the test, now wait a few minutes" indicator window had not even registered yet. Ever have those moments when time just seemed to stand still but you feel like you've just been ran over by a truck and you're still trying to figure out what just happened?!

I can't say exactly all the thoughts and feelings that were running through my mind but somehow I was trying to convince myself that it had to be a false positive. Maybe it was my meds, or my fall, or just my body's release from the intense workouts I had been doing. And then it was my one sided conversation with God, "are you kidding me..., now..., after 14 years...? I'm not to my weight goal yet, this can't really be happening" and so on. And then I bawled - a lot!

I spent several hours that morning looking up every possible combination of medicines, my fertility conditions, activity and whatever I could think of that would cause a false positive. Guess what, you all probably already know this but it's the false negatives you have to worry about. If it's positive, it's positive. I called my friend Lara in tears asking if she knew of a high risk ob/gyn and trying to sort out my intense shock with her. I knew I had to have a blood test to believe it so I called the Dr's office and even after explaining my history, they said they didn't see new patients until their 10th week. I explained I was taking med's that I know I wouldn't be able to take if I was pregnant and I needed to know for sure that was the case. So they had me come in and fill out a novel of paperwork and sent me to the hospital lab for the bloodwork. I was sitting in the chair while the tech was drawing my blood and just kept telling her I was infertile. She said, "well, hon, they want a full pregnancy panel as well as the test which shows how far along you are". And I say, "But, I'm infertile!" "Good luck" she says and plasters a bandaid on my arm and sends me on my way.

I went back to the Dr's office to talk to the nurse about my medications. I'm still trying to convince them I'm infertile so she asks if I wanted to do another urine test. Of course, I did. She dips it in, pulls it out and says, "Congratulations, you're pregnant! Oh, and your due date is May 11, 2010!" A DUE DATE?!! I wasn't even thinking about that! The blood tests the next day confirm it again, hcg levels at 319.

Unbelieveable. We head to San Diego and I'm still in denial. I wasn't about to give up my workouts just yet and so remained quite active there. Biking, boogie boarding, walking all over Sea World, riding the rides, we did it all. And I was cramping the whole time. Among all my research, I didn't see any reason why I shouldn't keep working out. Besides our parents, my brother and his wife are the first to find out.