And Here We Are AGAIN :(

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Sunday, December 20, 2009

Week 19 - Dec 14th - IT'S A ....!

(Dec 17 ultrasound)

I was waiting to post this weeks update as it was to be a surprise. My husband, from the time we found out we were pregnant, has been so excited, to say the least. With all the craziness at the beginning, I wasn't wanting to tell many people too soon because I was so afraid of miscarrying. The cautionary part of me was thinking "what are the chances after 14 years of marriage to conceive for the first time, AND carry the baby full term?!" All of my SIL's have miscarried at least once and I was worried of that happening. Well, when the first trimester was over and I was ready to spill the beans, I found that he couldn't stand not telling our friends and ward members. I would start to tell our news and they would then say, "Oh, yeah, Scott told us you were expecting!". Of course, I'm overjoyed that he is so happy for this and he is such a great dad. But it took the fun out of sharing our news!

Another factor was everyone's predictions on what the baby was going to be. Not one person thought it would be a boy. When I told my good friend Vicky, she said, "It's going to be a girl and I can see her now, red curly hair (we have red on both sides) and in a little white outfit with pink rosebuds!" Wow, really!? And as soon as I told Scott about the positive pregnancy test, he said, "It's going to be a girl!". And Jackson has been referring to the baby as SHE or HER and says it will be a girl because we already have a boy - him! And many others were saying, "You're going to get your girl!" Honestly, at the beginning, I was in so much shock that all I could think was, I hope I can carry this baby and I don't care what it is as long as it's healthy. But the more and more girl predictions came, I started getting my heart set on a girl. I was the only girl with four brothers and although I'm good with boys, I was getting a bit excited to think of having a baby girl. And then thinking of names, I knew right away what we would name a girl but could not for the life of me settle on a boys name. We knew we would name our first boy Jackson years before we found out we were getting him. But I was struggling with another boys name. When I told Scott I think I might be dissappointed if it's a boy, he started telling me he then thought it was a boy, ...and all along I know he is hoping for a girl.

So as the time came closer to when we could find out the gender, I decided this was going to be MY secret. The appointment was set for Dec 17th, and because I try and plan my appointments for when Jackson is in preschool, Scott has only been to one and not at the one when this was scheduled. So when he would ask when the appointment was, I was giving him very vague answers and even told him once it was on Christmas Eve. Then I was planning on buying a outfit that I could wrap and give to him on Christmas from "Baby Jolley" with the gender ultrasound picture in it. Funny thing is, when I went to get an outfit, I only picked up a baby girl one - wishful thinking.

I don't know if every expectant mother or father is as excited as we were to find out the gender and I would never have been one of those who doesn't find out! Considering our circumstances, we could hardly contain ourselves! And Scott had no idea that I couldn't sleep the few nights leading up to the appointment!! I could hardly wait to take Jackson to preschool (and not act too excited, he is as big of a blabber mouth as his dad!) and head to the clinic. I was even 20 minutes early and for anyone who knows me, knows that's a big deal! The technician took me in, started the ultrasound and asked right away if I wanted to know the gender and if I was hoping for one over the other. I told her, "Yes, please!!" And that we were hoping for one but I don't dare say which so I don't jinx it! Where she first placed the ultrasound wand was right where it needed to be and there was no mistake, she said, "Well, you're having a girl!!". Of course, I started bawling, and then asked if she was sure and that there could be no way it was a boy. She showed me exactly what she was looking at and confirmed it was a girl. I hadn't met with this technician before so I had to explain to her our situation and that these were tears of JOY!! When I finally came to, I had a million questions for her: is the placenta attached all around, is the umbilical cord firmly attached, had the fibroid on my right side grown, is her size on schedule and on and on. She was so good to check it all out and answer all my questions even though the baby was moving all over. And she also confirmed one of my fears, she's big! Or I should say tall as her weight was right where it needed to be but that she was already 2 inches longer than where she should be. My brothers wives all have had very big babies (9-10 pounders!) and I'm scared to death of childbirth not to mention a big one! I'm hoping at least she keeps on the path of her daddy's genes and remains thin and tall! myspace graphic comments

Turns out, I did have to meet with the Dr. on Christmas Eve as he had to leave on a delivery when I was having the ultrasound done and couldn't do his checkup. I was kind of relieved as I hated having to "lie" to Scott. Even though it wouldn't be to check the gender, I still had to meet with the Dr on that day.

My brother and his family arrived from San Diego the next day and it was killing me to keep this secret. I think I slipped a few times and my SIL figured it out. I think it helped though to be able to tell someone as keeping it from Scott was a struggle.

On a side note, the nausea has ended. I used up all my IV supplies last week, took out the needle and crossed my fingers that it was over. It didn't return, yippeee!! That was a long run and for the first time, I was feeling good during my pregnancy. And other fun news, I can feel her moving, A LOT!!

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