And Here We Are AGAIN :(

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Sunday, January 24, 2010

Week 24 - Jan 18 - Funeral for Grandpa

John's viewing was Sunday and his funeral was on Monday, January 18th. Everything was beautiful and went very well. I really hadn't cried much but the funeral put me over the top. I was greatful that John was no longer suffering but remembering so much from the past and his life just makes you miss them even so much more. I was telling Jackson's preschool teacher that his grandpa had passed away and that he might have a hard time and then I completely lost it when she was saying they announced it in church and she knew. I was holding it together so well and hardly shed a tear except at the funeral service for the whole weekend. But I also wasn't sleeping much and my body had had enough!! I think you just go into survival mode when there is a crisis but in the end, you'll end up hitting a wall! Scott's mom asked Scott to dedicate the grave and even though he struggled preparing for it, it was beautiful. Scott has seemed to come to peace with losing his idol.

Jackson has handled everything really well. He sure stuck around Grandpa and the casket and wanted to be part of everything. He even walked with the pallbearers into the chapel for the service and to the grave, despite his mother's best efforts to corral him away from them. I hope he will remember much of it. We did name him after his grandpa: John Jackson Jolley. Jackson even means son of Jack/John.

I spent a large part of this week with Joanne. The family is wondering how well she will do alone in the house without John, but she seems to really be doing well. We started looking at headstones and getting the design ready.

I am actually feeling quite well with the pregnancy and thinking this isn't so bad!

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