And Here We Are AGAIN :(

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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Back At It...Wishing and Hoping!

I could just kick myself!

I was just thinking how quickly time has gone and that Paige will be 1 year old next month (April 16th). I don't know if any other mothers have felt a strange sadness when you realize that those baby moments are disappearing and it just makes my heart break. I read through my blog and have forgotten so many of the details of my pregnancy. I am actually amazed at myself for having these experiences and then the posts end... what else happened?!!! How did the rest of the pregnancy go? How was the birth? And the cause for my intense sadness - all the baby moments! From our experiences in the hospital to her growing and developing and all the milestones!!!????? Why hadn't I recorded all this?!! I am kicking myself now!!!

Well, thank goodness for my very anemic Facebook page, I was recording some things there. And I was very vigilant (obsessed, really!) about taking pictures nearly weekly of her developing. It will never really make up for the feelings and smells (I love the smell of Luvs diapers and her after a bath with Aveeno Lavender wash and lotioned all up!) and touch (her chubby legs and when she would grab my finger - even nursing!) every other emotion I was feeling but I am now on a mission to try and remember and post what I can. I'm sure this is mostly all for me. I'm guessing most of my readers have long since given up on any updates but now after realizing I don't have that journal, I'm sad that I didn't do it!! When Jackson was a baby, I kept copies of all the letters we wrote to his birthmom his first year of life. Gotta get going again so I don't forget our wonderful (and not so wonderful) times!

Not going to set any type of deadline to get it all done (I can't deal with pressure right now!) but I'm hoping that just writing it down that I'm going to do it, will get the ball rolling...!

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