Week 25 - Jan 25 - Let the Nursery Planning Begin!

I have a dear friend who offered to give me a baby shower!! I can't even say how excited I am!!! I did have a shower before Jackson came but this will be just even more sweet and real since I'll have a baby bump to show off!! I actually went in and picked out a crib and bed set and am getting so excited!! It was a lot of fun to plan for Jackson to come, we were just so excited to become parents. They have a ton of cute things for baby boys but let's face it, shopping for little girls is so much more fun!!! And what's even more crazy is that we had ended up giving away most of Jackson's baby things because I thought if we ever got another it may have been more of an adoption and possibly older than a newborn. I always knew in the back of my mind we would be more than a family of 3 but I was just trusting the Lord and taking it as it would come. I did keep a lot of Jackson's clothes but I was baby blue all the way with him. I went through a lot of his clothes and pulled out a few things that were somewhat unisex in yellow or green. But he certainly was dressed as a boy!!

And everything now is pink, pink, pink! We're going to put this in a room that is painted a suede brown so imagine it without the pink walls. We are so in trouble if the nurse was wrong and this is a boy!!

Week 24 - Jan 18 - Funeral for Grandpa

John's viewing was Sunday and his funeral was on Monday, January 18th. Everything was beautiful and went very well. I really hadn't cried much but the funeral put me over the top. I was greatful that John was no longer suffering but remembering so much from the past and his life just makes you miss them even so much more. I was telling Jackson's preschool teacher that his grandpa had passed away and that he might have a hard time and then I completely lost it when she was saying they announced it in church and she knew. I was holding it together so well and hardly shed a tear except at the funeral service for the whole weekend. But I also wasn't sleeping much and my body had had enough!! I think you just go into survival mode when there is a crisis but in the end, you'll end up hitting a wall! Scott's mom asked Scott to dedicate the grave and even though he struggled preparing for it, it was beautiful. Scott has seemed to come to peace with losing his idol.

Jackson has handled everything really well. He sure stuck around Grandpa and the casket and wanted to be part of everything. He even walked with the pallbearers into the chapel for the service and to the grave, despite his mother's best efforts to corral him away from them. I hope he will remember much of it. We did name him after his grandpa: John Jackson Jolley. Jackson even means son of Jack/John.

I spent a large part of this week with Joanne. The family is wondering how well she will do alone in the house without John, but she seems to really be doing well. We started looking at headstones and getting the design ready.

I am actually feeling quite well with the pregnancy and thinking this isn't so bad!

Week 23 - Jan 11 - Dedication to John E. Jolley

It has been a sad week for us. Scott's dad passed away on Thursday, January 14th, 2010 just short of his 75th birthday. Even though it was expected, it was really hard on Scott. He has been nearly unconsolable for days and just so sad. His dad was his hero and I know that there will still be moments he will wish he has his dad there for advice and comfort. Scott was really hoping that John would have been around for our baby to born but the timing was just not right. We have been interested how Jackson has been handling this. He got some fish and a fishtank for Christmas and a few days before John passed, one of the fish died. He was crying and we had to coax him out from under his bed to explain that happens and that his fish was in a better place. It was kind of a blessing because he actually seemed to understand that Grandpa's spirit was no longer with us but in a better place. (And no, we weren't going to flush Grandpa's body down the toliet.)

John was someone I loved and deeply respected. He was/is a wonderful man who lived his life to the fullest and was such a great man. I mostly admired him for how he treated his wife like a queen and had the devotion of a father like no one I've known. He was a very wise man and made an impression on so many. We will miss you so much Grandpa!

Here was his obiturary:
John E. Jolley, Jr. "Sonny" 1935-2010 John E. Jolley, Jr., age 74, passed away peacefully at his home on January 14, 2010. John was born on January 24, 1935 in Bingham Canyon, Utah to John Elroyd and Beth Beckstrom Jolley. He married Joanne Smith, the love of his life, on December 9, 1957, in the Salt Lake City LDS Temple. John graduated from Lehi High School where he was student body president and lettered in track, football, and basketball. He attended Weber State College on a basketball scholarship and served in the Central States LDS Mission. After his mission John joined the Utah National Guard. He enjoyed hunting, fishing, traveling with family, and his horses and dogs. His working years included being a brick mason , Beneficial Life, and owner of Peterson Jolley Realty. John was an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He served as bishop, scoutmaster, and branch president at the MTC. He and Joanne served in the Virginia-Richmond LDS Mission and at the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. He is survived by his wife, their children, Kirk (Lygia), Hanford, CA; Jan (James) Hubbard, Huntsville; Terilyn (Phil) Miller, West Jordan; Scott (Amy), Orem; Michael (Jen), Taylorsville; brothers, Bill (Sharleen), Cedar Hills, Don (Colleen), Lehi, and sister, Julie (Gill) Van Wagoner, North Las Vegas. Preceded in death by his parents; and siblings Leanore Wagstaff, Gary Jolley, and Connie Morgan. Funeral Services will be held Monday, January 18 at 11:00 AM at the American Fork 19th Ward, 1305 North 100 East, American Fork. A viewing will be held Sunday, January 17 from 6-8 PM at Wing Mortuary, 118 East Main Street, Lehi, UT and Monday at the church from 9:45 to 10:45 AM prior to the funeral service. Interment will be at the Lehi Cemetery. www.wingmortuary.com

We have been busy arranging the funeral program, picking out the casket and figuring final arrangements. It's definitely kept any discomforts of this pregnancy off my mind but my ankles have started to swell since I've been up and going constantly.

Week 22 - Jan 4 - The Nausea Returns

You know the let down you get after Christmas and the January blahs come. Well, I was feeling all that along with thinking I might have to go back on my IV. It first came back every couple of days or so and then every day and then back to several times a day. I refilled my prescription for the Zofran so as long as I have that on hand, I'm generally OK. The baby is quite the mover!

My father-in-law, John, has been suffering from Parkinson's for about 10 years and the past year has been his worst. My mother-in-law has had hospice come in twice a day to bathe him in the morning and put him to bed at night for about 2 months. He had been at a point where he was still aware enough to dispute "paying money" to have them come in. But my mother-in-law, Joanne, was smart and kept them coming. There was no way she was able to lift him and help him do those things. Well this week, he has taken a turn for the worse and we're pretty sure he will be leaving this life soon. He is now laid up in bed and no longer can speak or eat. It's so hard to see them when their quality of life is over and you are waiting for the day when it's really over. Scott has been handling things fairly well. We are over at their house nearly every day and just trying to make John comfortable. Joanne hadn't really expressed to other family and friends how his days were numbered. Just that he wasn't doing well again. (He had a burst of energy during Christmas and was up and eating, walking and talking). So when others caught wind that this could be it, he has been getting a lot of visitors. The family is praying that he will go but I just wonder if he's laying there thinking who will come visit that day. We love you Grandpa!

Week 21 - Dec 28th - Stomach Flu

I'm so behind on my blog so I'm going to try and remember the details from the last 8 weeks or so...

So the flu everyone was passing around finally hit me. For most of them it was a 2 day thing, mine lasted a bit longer and I lost about 5 pounds. I didn't realize how the nausea from the pregnancy was not nearly like the flu. Sad to say, I was used to the vomiting but the flu brings other symptoms that knocked me off my feet!

Happy New Year everyone! It's going to be a great year!